Secret of Success
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1. How many letters should I send to find my special lady? 2. Is it possible to create a letter any Russian woman would want to reply? 3. How to introduce yourself in the letter honestly – yet attractively? 4. What questions are to be asked to a Russian woman so that she would answer them with interest and anxiously wait for new letters?
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How many letters should I write?
This is not a simple question.
Someone addresses a dating service for the first time, writes one letter, and end up with the wedding. Others might have lost the count to their letters and photos sent; they have tired writing to women from Moscow and the province, from Russia, Ukraine and Kazakhstan, but for some unknown reasons the correspondence halted after 2 to 5 letters. Others might have been even less lucky; to all their letters sent they have received replies where the ladies politely rejected them for one or another reason.
All those are the extreme possibilities. Getting 30-40% of positive responses is the normal statistics. If you are 30 to 35 years of age, you look nice, you are from the USA, Europe, Canada or Australia, you are likely to receive much more responses than a man of an older age or residing in a different country.
Thus, out of 10 Russian women you would write, in average:
- Two will not reply at all.
- One will send you an automatic notification like "Thank you for the e-mail! As soon as I get out of this business, I will definitely reply!"
- Two will tell you that you do not match them for one or another reason.
- With two others you will exchange 2-3 letters.
- With two others you will exchange 3-5 letters.
- With one lady out of 10 the correspondence has chances to become a success – if you follow a few simple rules.
Step 1. Importance of the Right Choice
Age
Here is my most important advice: choose the woman of the right age. You have chances when you write to ladies 5 to 15 years younger than you are. Also, the younger the lady is, the less should be the age difference.
For instance, 18 to 20 y.o. Russian girls do not appreciate men of 30-33 years old. They don't even understand what can they talk about with such "aged" people. Men of 32-35 years of age and older are openly called the "elderly men" by those girls.
Russian girls of 22-25 years of age have better attitude towards men older than themselves. Yet they consider sincerely "there is no sex after 40".
If girls of 18 to 25 years of age establish close relationships with men 12 to 20 years older than themselves, there is an approximately 70% probability for merely financial interest from the very beginning. Exclusions are possible, however! I personally know a couple that have the 18-year age difference and yet have a very successful marriage and have a nice little daughter.
26-35 y.o. ladies are mature enough and know about life quite well; therefore they are not likely to refuse a letter from a 40-48 years old man. Yet they would rather prefer a younger man.
Women who is about 40 years old are very likely to reject a man who is older than 50-55 – for that the same funny reason: "what kind of sex can be there after 50???"
Naturally, each woman has her own age preference. It is not a rare occasion when a 23-year old lady would specify the preferred partner's age 25-55 years old. This could happen for a number of reasons:
- She is new in dating, and she hopes to get more response this way.
- She is not seriously thinking about marriage and does not understand what it actually means when the man is 25 years older than the woman.
- Well, she is a scammer, and she hopes to catch more credulous men this way.
Of course, when you are 47 you would rather not write to the woman expecting letters from men of 35-46 years of age. I assure you that she has carefully thought over the preferred partner's maximum age.
Appearance
It is difficult for me to point out the principles men follow picking up their special lady. However, I can suppose the photograph is cardinal importance in that process.
I would greatly advise you to draw more attention to the women that look unpretentious; those who have not such a pretty smile and whose photographs do not impress from the very first sight.
Of course you know that not all people are photogenic; not every person can relax in front of a camera and smile naturally, like they do in their real lives. A woman with impressive appearance on the photograph can actually turn out an unsmiling and narrow minded person. At the same time, a woman with ordinary appearance may charm you with her sincerity and ability to feel with you.
Although I may honestly tell you: women with bright photographs are being written to quite rarely! Maybe men are just afraid of the really beautiful women?
Language proficiency
Some men select only the Russian women whose English proficiency level is high. I can understand the. Difficulties in communication, spending time and money for the interpreters are wished to be avoided.
Yet I wish you knew what a great motivation for the Russian woman with the zero English is to meet an interesting gentleman! When pleasing correspondence begins, when she wants to not just read his letter but to understand each word and the meaning behind it; when she wants to express pleasing in her letters – it becomes hard to believe how rapidly the language proficiency grows.
When my female friend decided to meet a foreign man, she knew English at the high school level (i.e. actually "Hi" and "Bye"). Three months later, she could herself read all his letters and could write on any topic (although with mistakes). A couple of months later, she could talk to him on the phone (although understanding almost nothing out of his speech). Some time later this barrier was gone too, for the man called her often and was very patient; he could repeat the very same sentence a number of times. They got married now and perfectly understand one another, and there is no language barrier between them at all.
Step 2. Composing the First Letter
Some gentlemen send their first message to the Russian lady of approximately this contents:
How do you think such letter can be replied? Personally I cannot think of anything except for a sarcastic saying, which I would not like to quote here.
In another case, a woman may receive a huge message composed with almost no paragraphs marked and abounding philosophic thoughts. Even if that letter were written in Russian, it would be difficult to read it to the end! Now let us imagine, the woman has placed her profile on 2 or 3 dating sites just recently and now she receives 10-12 letters each day.
Certainly, the guaranteed way is to use the special service. A professional interpreter will translate your introduction letter into Russian. The local courier will print out your pictures on a special photo printer and will deliver those to the lady along with your letter. Besides, the lady will be offered to reply in Russian and send the response with the same courier at any time. What do you think, would a lady refuse such introduction? I think this would impress anyone, even if she receives 50 letters each day.
If you would not like to trust to go-betweens, and you are positively sure in your abilities and personal charm, you have just one way to proceed: learn writing letters that Russian women would want to reply.
Do you understand the importance of the first letter?
Are you ready to follow my recommendations?
So, here are the seven basic rules:
- The first letter should provide enough information for the lady to come to the conclusion that "This Kevin is the man I need!"
- The letter should not be too formal (like a filled out questionnaire).
- The letter should not be too short (just the facts and nothing more).
- The letter should be composed in the simple language, with short sentences.
- The letter should include promises of telling something more in the next message.
- The letter MUST have questions one would want to answer.
- The letter should include ONE photograph at the least.
Greeting
The best word to use in greeting is "Hello".
"Hi" in the first letter would look too unceremonious.
"Dear" – may seem too intimate and therefore suspicious to some (in Russia, this word is used only when addressing to really dear and close people). To those well-informed about business correspondence this may seem too formal.
Greeting must include the name. For instance, "Hello Irina". It would be fine if you put the exclamation at the end: "Hello Irina!" It is common in Russia to end greetings with the exclamation. This form will point itself out already.
In the very beginning of your letter you should write where did you get the lady's address. Women are always curious about this!
Make her some simple and yet pleasant compliments and let her know that you have serious intentions.
It is not recommended to write her that she is beautiful. Everyone tells that. Besides, any girl knows she is beautiful, and therefore you will not tell her anything new with such compliment. But it is necessary to tell she is beautiful in the next letters.
To make the best compliment, you would need to carefully study her profile. Having done that, you will easily figure out her personal qualities that she considers are the most significant.
Next, write your first name, your height (you are recommended to convert inches into centimeters), your birth date (this is a must! women do believe in horoscopes!), your age. Then tell her the city you are from. If the city is small and not well known, you may as well mention the state. Tell her something that would help her ascertain your location. At this point you may mention that you would send her the map with your city marked.
So, the perfect beginning of the letter would look similar to this:
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Hello Irina! I have got your address via the "Lady from Russia" web site. Your photograph attracted my attention, and your personal description awakened my interest. You make the impression of a very smart (sincere, kind, understanding – pick yours!) person. I feel you are the one I had been looking for. My name is Kevin. I am 37 y.o. My height is 180 cm. My birthday is on February 8. I am from Oakland, that is the west of the USA, not far from San Francisco. In my next letter I will send you the map where I marked my city. |
Then tell the University or college you have graduated, where you work, and what your position is (you may outline your job). Mentioning the fact that you are successful and "financially secure" can make another positive impression. We recommend you to use the "financially secure" expression. Tell her that you are looking for a special lady.
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I hold a University degree and work as an IT Consultant. I am very successful at my career and financially secure, but I haven't met a special lady still. |
Your Personal description - be yourself
Now you need to describe your most important personal qualities giving the preference to those this (and an usual Russian) woman looks for in the potential partner.
What would interest any Russian woman? What do they look for in the future husband? – reliability, care, tenderness, understanding, love. And a sincere purpose to create an united family. And she need fill an confidence in the future.
It is also great when a man is honest, intelligent, mannered and well educated.
If you have got something good on you, it is always an advantage; do mention it in your letter. Then tell her what points you out among others; find some your special personal qualities. It would be the best if some qualities meet the woman's expectation.
Even if it doesn't, still write about it. First, this thing characterizes you. Second, this is your important feature, and the woman should feel it through.
Let me point it out that you should write not the qualities she expects, but the ones YOU HAVE GOT – selecting the ones she would prefer out of the overall list. It is important to be yourself from the very first letter. What sense does it make for you to start describing some ideal gentleman when you do not relate to that in any way?
If you are an exceptional person, you will need the woman who will value the non-ordinary qualities of YOURSELF. Of course, you will have to write to not just 10, but rather 20 or 30 women. But through that you will find the special, the best matching one.
Just a little bit may be written about your hobbies. It is enough to write one or two rather short sentences. It will be great if your interests and hobbies intersect with hers, for the touch points lift the person up among the overall mass of other letters.
Remember that the text should not be too large. It should be easy to understand. Try to avoid idioms, using your local dialect, Americanisms and other expressions, which can be misunderstood if translated "directly", by the common grammar. At the same time, the letter should not be just a list of facts. Your goal is to make the letter interesting to read.
Questions
It would be good if your letter has 2 or 3 questions in it.
For example, you have just written that you have got a dog. Ask her: How do you feel about dogs? Have you got any pet?
These questions are easy to answer, and any woman will gladly tell you about her pet. Otherwise, she will tell you that she is indifferent to pets. Or – that she doesn't please them. That will give you some information to think about!
Promises
Do not forget about the notices (promises, "announcement"). Along the lines mention a couple of times (more than that is not recommended) something like "I will tell you more in my next letter" or "I have a photographs of my dog with me; I will send to you in my next letter" or "My city is small but very beautiful; on weekend I will drive around and make a few pictures specially for you".
Such notes give her the feeling that you are interested in corresponding with her, and that you have something to tell and show.
Her children
If the woman has got a child, necessarily write her that you know about that. If in her profile she stated just "Son, 8 years old" – you may write something like: "I know you have got a son. What is his name? It is interesting to see his photo as well".
If she stated: "I have a charming daughter; her name is Kate" – you may write like this: "Greet Kate for me; I am sure she is as beautiful as is her Mom. Do you have a picture of both of you together?"
It is important for each woman to know how a man will treat her child. If the man is friendly from the very first letter, she will certainly value that. However you should be careful with woman with a daughter. Many beware of pedophiles that, unfortunately, happens to be the case sometimes.
After you have mentioned her child, write about your marital status. If you are divorced, tell her that. You need to be honest!
If you have got children – write a few words about them; tell her their names and age. Also tell her who the children live with. If you are a careful father and spend spare time with children – you better not write all that in your first letter. Later you will have more opportunities to tell the woman how much you love your children and how easy you get along with any kids.
Russian women do value good attitude towards their children, but they also fear your own children to become a barrier for developing the long-distance relationship. Do not impel the lady to pick someone else's letter just because you are a loving father! When writing the very first letter to a lady, you are a stranger to her, and your children are stranger's children. Let the woman feel you first, and she will then take as your children for a part of yourself. That is a big difference!
If a girl haven't got any children, the information about your sons spending time with you twice a month may scare her. Just for that reason she may fail to answer your first letter.
If in her profile the woman says she is looking for a man with no children; that means she is looking for a man with no children – that's do! Please respect her choice and do not waste your time. There are many another women out there who will be glad about you having children and will take as them for their own ones.
Next, write a few words about the photograph you enclose in your letter (please see below for more on the photographs). For example, you have a photo of yourself with sights of the nature. Describe it: "I am attaching a picture taken this February. Along with friends we camped out and skied in the mountains".
Such description makes the photograph more interesting and tells her that you like mountain skiing and you have friends who you have greatly spend time with. Wouldn't such person be attracting? Besides, two sentences is all that is required for this!
Closing the letter you must ask a few questions. The questions should induce the woman to reply.
The best number of questions asked in a letter is 4 or 5 – along with the ones that were asked earlier. It is good when the questions are asked along the lines. But it is fine to write them at the very end of the letter.
What kinds of questions are well in the first letter? Please read her profile carefully again. Sometimes women provide some details there.
These questions are non-trivial; they motivate for further discussion and as well provide you with an opportunity to both tell something about yourself and express the readiness for answering further questions.
Closing the letter, write something like: "I am looking forward to your response. I hope we become friends". This may look like a pattern, yet these words express your serious intentions regarding your communication.
At the end of your letter, write your postal (mailing) address and your full name. This gives confidence!
Enclose one or two photos of yourself in your letter.
It would be good if a woman who you are in good relationship with helps you select the photograph for your first letter. Woman does know – which photos you look handsome and natural on. If you do not have a female-friend – ask your friend for the advice.
Sending in the first letter the photos of you pictured in a company of friends, children, former wife or other women is not recommended. If you value these photos, you will have a chance to send them later – along with a great description of the pictured people and events.
Your marital status, your children
Describe your photograph
Step 3. Closure
Step 4. Your Photographs